


A Little Jealousy is Not Bad

by ibupropen



Category: ONEUS (Band)
Genre: Confessions, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:40:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23757016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ibupropen/pseuds/ibupropen
Summary: Wherein Seoho is jealous of seeing Geonhak babying Dongju all the time so he does whatever it takes to grab his attention. He later realizes that there is not a single ray of hope for them to be “something”.
Relationships: Kim Geonhak | Leedo/Lee Seoho
Comments: 20
Kudos: 45





	1. Look At Me

The boys were preparing for another comeback and Dongju is sitting on Geonhak’s lap like any other day. The other members just shrugged at the sight of their clinginess like it was such an obvious normal day occurrence. It would have been like that for Seoho too, only if he didn’t harbor any feelings for Geonhak. In fact, Seoho hated every moment of their skinship. So just like any other day, Seoho readied himself to disrupt the two lovebirds' painful skinship and pinched Geonhak’s arm as hard as he could, but not hard enough to leave a bruise. 

“Hyung!” Geonhak stood up into his fighting stance, obviously not amused.

“It didn’t even hurt...you’re just exaggerating again,” Seoho beamed with a smile knowing he finally got his muscle chick’s attention.

“Whatever,” Geonhak retreated and went back to Dongju because he knew that if he gave in to his hyung’s teasing again, it won’t stop. 

“Whatever,” Seoho copied Geonhak by speaking in his signature baritone voice. Geonhak didn’t respond back. 

_“That was it?”_ Seoho craved for something more. He knew Geonhak only has his eyes for their maknae but he can’t help but feel frustration build up. With how quick Geonhak ended their interaction, Seoho sighed knowing that he can’t win over Geonak’s little baby. He decided to just play games on his phone. At least with it, he doesn’t have to compete for attention. 

A notification interrupted his game reminding him that it’s gym day. Gym day for him is the only time he could have Geonhak for himself. _“I almost forgot we have a gym date today,”_ he giggled to himself. After practice, he immediately went to the locker room to freshen up and messily stuff his clothes and towel in his duffel bag without a care in the world. He felt giddy he couldn’t even hide how happy he was while waiting for Geonhak in the hallway. Confidence was coming back to him until he spotted Geonhak and Dongju walking out of the practice room together.

“Why are you still here?,” the two shot Seoho a questioning look. 

“It’s gym day,” Seoho faltered. Right then, Seoho just wanted to curl into a ball and disappear. _“Did he perhaps forget? Was I the only one excited?”_ Seoho thought, making him feel even more depressed as if he wasn’t feeling depressed enough the whole day. 

“Oh right, hyung I’ll pass this time. I have plans with Dongju.”

“Okay then, but call me anyway. I might still be in the gym once you’re done.” He has seen this scenario playing in movies a lot. This is when you force a smile and ignore your heart whaling in pain. And he did smile, acting like it was nothing; but silently, he wished for someone to just stab him and end his misery. Defeated, Seoho goes back to their dorm because he was sure Geonhak wouldn’t see him at the gym after his date with their maknae. It’s just how it works. 

He arrived at their empty dorm, not even surprised. The rest were probably taking a stroll enjoying the night view to take a breather. Because he has no one to eat with, his appetite dropped so he decided to just take a quick shower and immediately go to bed. But the god of sleep wasn’t on his side. After staring at the ceiling for a good hour, he got up and did some push ups. Working out keeps your mind off of things and it relieves frustrations. It has always been Seoho’s go-to when he wants to rest his mind for a while. He hated himself for caring too much. _“Something must be very wrong with me, I can’t stop thinking about Geonhak. Stop thinking about him.”_ He scolded himself, forgetting to count how many push ups he already did.

The push ups probably worked some wonder as he came to his senses and felt a strong desire to finally man up and do something about his one-sided situation. He only has two choices really. One, he could suppress his feelings and hopefully get over Geonhak. It’s clean and neat, no one would get uncomfortable and everything will go down without anyone ever knowing. Two, he could swallow his pride. Confess. Get rejected. _“Any sane person would go with the first option,”_ he told himself. He doesn’t want to add any more pain to what he’s going through. With a clear resolution, he went to dreamland with his heart at ease the first time in 6 months of unrequited love.

* * *

Seoho entered the practice room smelling nice and looking spotless. He inhaled deeply as he knew it will not be smelling as nice once they start dancing. Just then his eyes land on Dongju and Geonhak on lying on top of each other on the yoga mat. They were monitoring their dance practice yesterday. As a sign of progress, he seemed to be getting used to them being like that since he was able to divert his attention quite easily. The rest of the week pretty much went like that. Whenever Seoho saw something he doesn’t like, he would avert his gaze to somewhere else. He kept his conversations with Geonhak as short and straightforward as possible. 

It was going well for Seoho - everything went according to plan and no one seemed to notice him avoiding Geonhak. If he keeps this up, he might be able to find a new person to crush on by their comeback date. On the other hand, Geonhak felt bothered and confused trying to initiate small talks with his hyung. He knew Seoho was avoiding him and he doesn’t know how to approach this topic. 

At first he thought maybe his hyung was just tired. But further observation showed that he interacted just fine with the other members. It was just him that he was being so dull and unexpressive. Geonhak went through hoops and loops inside his mind trying to figure out what it is exactly that he did to make Seoho act that way. And so far as his memory could recall, he did nothing wrong. Whatever it is that turned them into an awkward mess, he needed to find out before he completely loses his mind. 

Geonhak jumped into Seoho in a headlock position, “Seoho hyung! Let’s go to the gym later.” It must be because he missed one of their gym days that his hyung is acting this way. Although it’s pretty far-fetched, he thought maybe it hurt Seoho. After all, it was this incident that he thinks Seoho started acting weirdly.

“Why so suddenly? I don’t think we need to since we’re practicing anyway,” Seoho reasoned out. 

“Then let’s just hang out”. Geonhak’s persistence is confusing Seoho and it’s making him feel like perhaps Geonhak noticed that he’s avoiding him already. If he did notice, Seoho felt he had to say yes to avoid suspicions. “Okay then...let’s invite Youngjo hyung too.” 

It didn’t go as Geonhak planned but it was still something. Just like that, Youngjo was dragged into their conversation. Thankfully, the older didn’t think twice and just agreed. “It’s Hyung line’s day out then,” Youngjo joked, receiving small punches from the two. “Quit being cheesy,” Seoho chuckled, flashing his eye smile. When Geonhak saw happy Seoho, he realized then and there that he missed his small squabbles with Seoho and that he would do everything to bring those moments back.


	2. Misunderstanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Seoho is jealous of seeing Geonhak babying Dongju all the time so he does whatever it takes to grab his attention. He later realizes that there is not a single ray of hope for them to be “something”.

The three oldest members of the group walked side by side to their destination. Youngjo and Geonhak were booming with laughter that everyone who passed by them shot them annoyed looks. But even Youngjo could sense that Seoho was unusually quiet the whole trip and he worried that maybe Geonhak invited him to hang out because of this reason. Although Geonhak looked all smiley while joking around, deep inside he’s stressing over how to casually include Seoho into their conversation. 

Oblivious to the internal conflicts of his two companions, he took out his phone to busy himself with. He doesn’t have the energy left to keep pretending, he’s done that for almost a month now. Even though he likes to pretend that he has gotten better control over his heart, it was just because he was distancing himself from Geonhak all the time like the coward that he is. 

“We’re here!” Youngjo announced, snapping Seoho out of his thoughts. For Seoho, this marks as the beginning of an even more awkward night. For Geonhak, the game has only started. They ordered quickly and got themselves seated at the very back where they could get privacy. Geonhak stole a quick glance at his hyung who he will be ‘interrogating’ later. The dim lights emphasized Seoho’s haggardness to which Geonhak worried about, _“Maybe I should go easy on him later.”_

Seoho sat first, followed by Youngjo sitting beside him. But just then, Seoho realized he made a mistake. Just before he could stand up, Geonhak took the seat right in front. _Checkmate_. Geonhak leaned in to the table and Seoho leaned back just as quickly. “So something _IS_ up.” Geonhak was pretty sure something was wrong but this just confirms his suspicion even more.

Their hyung decided to initiate the conversation before it’s too late to salvage. “Are you on a diet?” Youngjo asked, question directed to Seoho. 

“Ahh…I lost some weight but I wasn’t trying, it just went like that.” Seoho played with his fingernails while answering, not knowing where to look. He could feel Geonhak’s gaze and it was making him uncomfortable. 

“While Seoho lost weight, Geonhak gained a little bit,” Youngjo joked. They all laughed, making their oldest feel more at ease that the atmosphere is lightening up.

“It’s because hyung wouldn’t go with me to the gym anymore.” Geonhak stared at Seoho for his reaction, hoping that maybe this little nudge could give him an answer. But the other just shrugged. 

“We're practicing for our comeback. I don’t see why we have to go to the gym now.” 

The oldest could feel the tension and that his presence is not needed. As much as he wanted to eat with the guys, he knew they had to resolve this problem on their own. He stood up, receiving attention from the both of his members. “I’m sorry but I have to bring the keys to Hwanwoong quickly. He texted me. Said forgot his. I’ll be back quickly.” And with that he dashed away. Youngjo just hoped that he did the right thing by leaving them together. 

Geonhak took this as a signal to prod Seoho even further. “Hyung, I know you have been avoiding me lately. I was just scared to ask you why and you never really gave me a chance to. Was it something that I did?” The older could feel heat creeping up his face. He was not ready for such a sudden question. He knew Geonhak is a blunt person, but not to this extent. Of course Seoho also wanted to end this fiendish game so he decided to be honest, just for tonight. He thought maybe it could straighten things up and help him get over Geonhak. The quicker, the better.

“You’re right I was avoiding you.” Seoho inhaled deeply, trying to organize everything so he doesn’t say anything he would later on regret. He got interrupted with his thoughts when Geonhak suddenly land his hands on top of Seoho’s, giving it a little squeeze. Geonhak meant well but from Seoho’s perspective, he felt like he was being mocked. The small gesture infuriated him. “Excuse me, what are you doing? You wanted me to talk. I’m trying to talk now.”

“I just thought maybe it could help you, you know––let out your thoughts.” It didn’t comfort Seoho at all, and it showed when Seoho abruptly pulled his hand from Geonhak’s hold. 

“You know what? This won’t work. Just let me be, I’ll figure it out on my own.” With that Seoho grabbed his stuff. Geonhak reached out his hand but it was quickly swatted away by Seoho. “Don’t come after me! Wait for Youngjo hyung,” he hissed at the younger. 

A few minutes later, Youngjo comes back to Geonhak who was staring at the 3 ramen bowls in front of him–not sure what to do since he was left alone. The oldest smiled softly at his friend. “Looks like it didn’t work,” he told Geonhak. He didn’t receive any response, so he sat down and attacked the neglected, almost cold, ramen bowl. They both gulped down the ramen bowl like as if they were in a contest. No words were exchanged and it wasn’t really needed. They talked through their slurps. Youngjo had a gist that Geonhak doesn’t have a clue what happened so he didn’t ask any further. But he had to encourage Geonhak, as the eldest, and as his friend. 

“We have to take the ramen out. Seoho might be upset but he also must be hungry.” Geonhak looked up to his hyung, tears threatening to flow.

“I just…he was about to open up hyung! And I fucking– god why did I have to do that?” He looked so defeated that Youngjo could only sigh. 

“What on earth happened while I was gone?” Youngjo couldn’t help but feel guilty that he made things worse for his two members. 

“Honestly I don’t know. Okay, I held his hand but what’s wrong with that?” Confused, Youngjo can’t keep up. First, Geonhak says it’s his fault, now it’s Seoho’s fault. He wanted to slap Geonhak so he could make sense, but he decided to choose the righteous path. 

“Alright I don’t understand anything but you can’t talk to him right now. Not when you’re both angry at each other. Now let’s go. Seoho must be waiting.” They left the ramen shop with cold bowl of ramen on Geonhak’s hand. 

Meanwhile, Seoho sniffled his cries quietly while buying instant ramen in the convenience store. It was such a shame that he had to leave the ramen - that he paid for - just because he couldn’t suppress his emotions. But most specially, he’s mad at Geonhak for making him feel things. He kept thinking back to when he gazed at his eyes and held his hands. It felt so good and he knew it only felt good for him. It made him want to throw up. _“What does that man want from me?”_ Somehow, Seoho arrived to the conclusion that that Geonhak is aware of his feelings and is playing with it. He brought down his finished bowl to the table with a thud and stood up. He had to explain himself to Youngjo first, then he could deal with Geonhak after. 


	3. Just Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Seoho is jealous of seeing Geonhak babying Dongju all the time so he does whatever it takes to grab his attention. He later realizes that there is not a single ray of hope for them to be “something”. 
> 
> I feel like the initial summary doesn't apply anymore so maybe I'll just edit them to wherever this story leads to.

Youngjo and Geonhak just came back to their dorm, expecting Seoho to be there already. The both were welcomed by their other members asking why they only brought home 1 bowl when there are 3 of them. Geonhak scanned the dorm as if looking for Seoho would help him appear magically. Suddenly they hear the clanking of the keys just outside the door which opened to show their missing member. 

Geonhak thought this is his moment to redeem himself so he immediately took out the food from the paper bag. “Seoho hyung do you want me to heat this?” Without waiting for the response, he uncapped the bowl and put it inside the microwave. 

“Oh that wouldn’t be necessary. I already ate instant noodles.” Seoho muttered, voice hoarse from the crying. Geonhak depleted after hearing his voice like that. _“I messed up big time,”_ he thought to himself. Seoho, looking tired, went to his room saying they should all get some rest as well. Later that night, Seoho sent Youngjo a text message.

**_Seoho_ ** _: youngjo hyung ;-;_

**_Youngjo_ ** _: it’s 2 am already. whazzup?_

**_Seoho_ ** _: i can’t sleep. would u mind if we talk about…u know._

**_Youngjo_ ** _: lets’s go outside so we don’t wake up the others._

**_Seoho_ ** _: ok. thanks hyung_

Seoho met Youngjo by the door fully dressed with warm clothes also carrying some for the younger. The older knew Seoho currently isn’t in his right mind to think about warming up and that’s fine, he can take care of his members like he’s been doing all this time. He waited for Seoho to put on the padded jacket and scarf before he opened the door. 

“When Geonhak talked to me earlier, I honestly didn’t understand a thing. I’m hoping you could enlighten me a bit,” Youngjo chuckled. Seoho elbowed the older. 

“I’m also lost you know.” They both sat down on the stairs, 3 floors below their dorm room. “Geonhak…that brat knew I have a crush on him. Right when I was about to talk he held my hand like he was f*cking with me.”

“What made you think he knew?”

“Because whenever I feel like I’m already losing interest he comes right on time to mess with me. If he won’t reciprocate my feelings then why give me hope? It’s already hard enough hyung–” Seoho broke down into a sobbing mess. He cried into Youngjo’s shoulders, seeking comfort from his hyung’s embrace. The older, still confused, just hummed to a song in an attempt to mute Seoho’s cries. With every sniffle, he hummed louder so Seoho could let his heart out. 

Not being able to continue, the older took this as his cue to speak out. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think Geonhak knows. At least that’s what I got from our conversation earlier.” He received no reactions so he continued again. “I get that you’re angry, but think about it from Geonhak’s perspective. He must have been frustrated when you suddenly decided to avoid him. I know, because I would have been too.”

Seoho, who was trying to control his tears, looked up to his hyung and hugged him once more. He isn’t the type of person to initiate skinship, except of course with Geonhak. But right now he really wanted to thank Youngjo for being their bridge, mediator, and father-figure. “Thank you again Youngjo hyung,” he repeated, not for Youngjo but for himself. 

They both went back to their dorm after their heartfelt exchange. Youngjo was able to catch his sleep quickly but it was not the case for Seoho. He thought about the talk that just took place earlier, trying to understand Geonhak. Dissecting Geonhak. Yes, he must have been just frustrated as what Youngjo said, and he doesn’t know what to do with this information. He only realized what a fool he’s made out of himself which embarrassed him to death. 

* * *

The ringing of the alarm beamed through the hallways as the members scattered all over trying to find whose phone it was that won’t stop. “Somebody stop that damned thing,” Keonhee flailed dramatically. Amidst all the chaos, Youngjo remained calm and searched for the source of the sound. “Bingo _,_ ” Youngjo slipped his hand just underneath Seoho’s back and snatched his phone. “Found the little devil,” he claimed. The rest sighed as they dispersed back to their bunks, eyes closed and legs heavy, to claim some more sleep. 

They talked about this incident over breakfast, mainly making fun of Seoho for sleeping like a log. The topic of the conversation doesn’t seem to be bothered, he didn’t even know what the members were talking about. He reached out for bread, still half-asleep, when his fingers grazed something warm - a familiar feeling he couldn’t remember. He looked up to see Geonhak staring back at him, just as startled as he was. “I’m sorry,” Geonhak shyly apologized. The muscular guy kept his eyes on the floor the whole time after what happened. 

Events from last night kept the two prancing around each other. They looked like they were walking on egg shells, both very careful with what they say or do. Although it looked cute, Youngjo must admit, he knew it won’t do any good for the group. 

“Can you and Seoho clean up? I still have something to do,” Youngjo posed. He winked at Geonhak, who looked almost constipated. Before he could protest, the older had already bounced away. 

Geonhak looked at Seoho who was still playing with his bread. “Hyung, I can clean up by myself if you want to sleep some more.”

“It’s alright.” Seoho stacked the plates and moved them to the sink swiftly. He couldn’t take the awkward air enveloping them. Cleaning the dishes would be the perfect distraction. The two gym buddies soaped, rinsed, and dried the dishes with perfect synchronicity. It almost looked domestic. 

Seoho’s thoughts flew to what they would like if they were to end up together. They would be teasing each other relentlessly like it was the only way they could express their love. Rarely, they would shower each other with praises and compliments. He quickly stopped himself before he hurt himself from imagining something so out of reach. Before he could dry the utensils, Geonhak coughed trying to clear his throat. “Later…um, do you want to go to the new gaming cafe that just opened?”

_“Classic Kim Geonhak,”_ Seoho thought. Of course he wanted to go, he’s been dying to ask himself. But he needed to clear his mind first so he could hangout with Geonhak the way they used to: purely as friends. “Maybe next time.”

“Why next time? We haven’t hung out for a long time already. Hyung! Look at me,” Geonhak pleaded. He didn’t intend to snap but Seoho wasn’t helping their situation either. His eyes stung. Feeling the angry tears coming up, Geonhak blinked them away like his life depended on it. But if he looked like a jumbled mess, Seoho looked worse - ready to explode.

“You’re just so selfish aren’t you? I’m trying my best too, Geonhak.” Seoho roared, surprising the other. Geonhak could only feel guilty as this was the first time that he’s seen Seoho boiling with rage.

“I just miss the old you… I miss my friend.” Seoho’s world collapsed the moment he heard the word ‘friend’ come out of Geonhak’s mouth. The thin glass trying to keep his reason cracked. It was to be expected; after all, he’s been restraining himself for god knows how long.

“That’s the thing! I don’t want to be just a _friend_ to you. I—” Seoho covered his mouth as soon as the confession left his lips. This wasn’t on his plan. Geonhak staggered backwards, trying to search for words. But he couldn’t. He stayed still as Seoho burst into tears sprinting out ofthe kitchen. A loud slam of the door followed almost instantly which pulled Geonhak from his trance-like state. 

Seoho liked him, not in a platonic way. He paced around, not leaving his spot. Seoho liked him, and he’s not sure how to feel about it. Seoho liked him, but does he like Seoho back? His mind ran through his memories of his _friend_. The way his eyes disappeared when he smiled, the way he played with his ring when he’s nervous, the way he would rap and claim that he’s a better rapper. Geonhak wasn’t sure if he liked Seoho the same way, but he damn sure hated the way they are now. 

He went to knock on the bathroom door, keeping his ears open to every sound coming from the room. “Seoho hyung, please come out.” The sobs died down as they listened to each other’s breathing. Seoho took comfort from the fact that Geonhak was still patiently waiting for him outside. He opened the door, slowly, taking in the sight of his beloved before him. 

The muscular guy pulled him into a hug and caressed his back. Seoho burrowed his face into the other’s shoulders, inhaling the familiar scent. “I’m sorry for being inconsiderate—for hurting you so much. Hyung, I just never knew.” Geonhak whispered, unsure if apologizing is the right move. Seoho attempted to withdraw from the hug when Geonhak squeezed him tighter: they had to resolve this before their relationship could grow apart. 

“It’s okay Geonhak. You’re not obligated to anything. I promise we’ll be back to being friends if you could just give me time.” Seoho comforted. This time he succeeded breaking free from Geonhak’s embrace. Although he missed the warmth, he knew he would crave for more the longer it lasted. 

“What if I also like you? The way you like me? I’ve never thought about the possibility because…we’re both _men,_ but I want to try.” Geonhak has gone crazy. It had to be the only explanation.

“What? No! Are you _insane_? If you think I would let you force yourself to like me back then think again. It doesn’t work that way Geonhak-ssi.”

“I’m not gonna force myself. But if there’s the slightest chance that I also like you - romantically - I’d want to know. The past few weeks I’ve been trying to get near you but every time you just moved away. I missed your presence so so much.” Geonhak rambled, flailing his arms around trying to make his point. His eyebrows scrunched up and his lips pouted a little. He looked cute.

Geonhak’s idea sounded so tempting. If everything works out, they could end up being together like how he’s imagined them to be. However, he also knew that it won’t let them live in peace if ever something goes wrong. Their relationship could either bloom or boom: there is no in-between. “Fine,” he agreed. Lee Seo Ho must have gone crazy too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want a next chapter just tell me lol I honestly don't know what to do anymore XD Also can I just say that Youngjo is the real MVP here


	4. "Us" But Made Better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ⚠️: suggestive content and lots of crying ;-;

The floor of the practice room was slippery with sweat but the members didn’t mind as they sprawled over to keep themselves cool. Hwanwoong is vicious with perfecting their moves. The main dancer has always been a perfectionist and he pushed the others so they could move as synchronically. He knew they had good choreography, they just had to utilize with good dancing. And if practicing like mad is what it would take to make their movements come more naturally then so be it. The members swore Hwanwoong had hawk eyes - the slightest hesitation and he would stop the music to drill the sequence to their memory. 

Seoho was doing great: his flow, execution, line, everything. Hwanwoong even slipped a compliment which boosted his confidence even more. It was as if nothing happened that morning. Geonhak on the other hand moved like a mess and Hwanwoong wasn’t taking it well. 

“Geonhak hyung what are you doing?” Hwanwoong interrupted. “You’re supposed to do it like this,” he continued as he repeated the hand movements at a slower pace. “You’re out of sync.” Seoho looked at Geonhak, brows furrowed, urging him to follow. He did as told, but he hesitated towards the middle and stopped before finishing. 

“I’m sorry but can we take a short break,” Geonhak suggested. Hwanwoong permitted with a nod and clapped his hands. “Let’s take a 30 min break,” he announced. Immediately, Geonhak rushed to the water fountain and splashed cold water to his face. He was immersed deep in his thoughts that he didn’t notice Seoho was waiting behind him. The older felt Geonhak was already out of it so he poked his shoulder. Startled, Geonhak grabbed Seoho’s wrist only to realize it was just his hyung.

“Wow. Are you okay? Is something wrong?” Although Seoho had an idea, he was scared to confirm that their “agreement” is the culprit behind Geonhak acting all peculiar. Geonhak is a simple guy: it’s easy to tell when he’s thinking about something else. This also the reason why he didn’t want to confess in the first place. He knew Geonhak would be painfully obvious that it would worry the others. And he didn’t want to bring any discomfort especially since their comeback requires their full attention.

Geonhak couldn’t bring himself to admit that the sweat trickling down Seoho’s neck stirred him up in every wrong way possible. “Ugh, yeah. I just need a break.” 

He had only started seeing Seoho in a different light that he had to gulp every time Seoho raised his arms and his shirt teased the toned abs underneath. Suddenly it’s like he went back to his horny pubescent age. He couldn’t stop his eyes from tracing Seoho like they were made to consume the wonderful sight. And he hated it. He hated objectifying Seoho. He hated himself for being like that. 

“You sure? I can help you practice if you want.”

“Hyung there _really_ is no need. I’m fine.” Geonhak ruffled Seoho’s hair and threw a towel over the other’s head as he walked away. Desperate to calm himself down, he stayed with Hwanwoong the entire 20 minutes of their water break. He ran over the sequence of the dance from the very beginning so he doesn’t make a fool out of himself in front of Seoho.

Seoho observed from outside the room where Hwanwoong was helping Geonhak. It hurt so much to see Geonhak being uncomfortable with him. “ _After all that talk about missing me. He can’t even bear being in the same space as me._ ” Tears bubbled in the lower rim of his eyes but he was able to push them away after closing his eyes for a few seconds. He had to pull himself together. And it’s not like he didn’t expect this outcome anyway. 

Hwanwoong clapped his hands as he called for the members to gather in the room. Once again, they danced like crazy, this time with Geonhak being able to keep up. Seoho was side-eyeing him the whole time and was glad to see Geonhak back in his zone. The man moved flawlessly and that was enough to satisfy Seoho. 

By the time they were done polishing the dance it was already midnight. Unable to tolerate the stickiness any longer, Seoho went to freshen up as soon as Hwanwoong officially dismissed the group. Without thinking much, he lifted his shirt to his head and wiped his body with wet wipes. Geonhak stared at the man before him, a whirlwind of emotions crashing through his mind. He wanted to touch his hyung so badly, but it would be too inappropriate. He didn’t want to start on the wrong foot. He also didn’t want Seoho to think he was just lusting over him. That would be something he wanted to avoid at all costs: for Seoho to think he’s confusing love with sexual desire. Not wanting to do anything stupid, he stayed in the restroom until his sweat has fully dried. Unbeknownst to him, Seoho was right outside the door waiting for him. 

Seoho was leaning on the door when he heard the knob turned and the door opened promptly. Geonhak opened the door so quickly that he didn’t have enough time to regain his footing until it was already too late and found himself falling in Geonhak’s arms. The muscular guy could feel his heart thumping through his chest. He hoped Seoho couldn’t heart them, or it would just be too awkward. And Seoho did hear them so he moved away from the other’s hold and fixed himself before starting his well-prepared speech. 

“Geonhak, let’s go back to the way things were before. For real this time. I knew you’d become like this but I still forced my selfishness and look where we are now? You can’t even talk to me without fumbling. I’ll help you forget my confession if you want. I’ll act like the usual Seoho. But you do your part and stop being so…weird.”

The thing about having to hide your feelings is you become an expert in pretending. It has been 5 months already when he started feeling things for Geonhak. At first, he denied it with every cell in his body. He refused to believe that Geonhak had this effect on him – he pulled him in like gravity – so he focused more on the other members. He looked at all of them individually, just to persuade himself that Geonhak isn’t really as special as he appeared to be. But the man just grabbed all the spotlight, it was damn impossible. 

He felt so silly back then, every touch from the other made his skin tingle with delight. Even the choir sang whenever he saw Geonhak in his usual black undershirt. The very act of staring made him feel sinful as if it was a crime. Whereas now, Geonhak could go topless in front of him and he’d just joke about how his ‘muscles are his _only_ charm’. Of course he’d sweat a little bit, but he could easily pass it off for being exhausted from practicing. He’s been successful hiding everything so far and it would be better to keep it that way. But before Geonhak could respond, hot ugly tears had already started streaming down his face. “ _Damn it Seoho stop crying_ ,” he ordered himself. He turned his back to Geonhak to dry his tears but they didn’t look like they would stop any time soon. 

Geonhak felt something pierced his heart as he took in the sight of Seoho crying. He’s so bad at expressing himself but he didn’t know his actions were already hurting Seoho. He made Seoho like this and he can’t fuck it up any more than he already did. Without delay, he wrapped his arms around the other's waist and pulled him into a tight hug. 

They stayed like that for a few minutes while Geonhak composed his thoughts to clarify whatever Seoho misunderstood. To do that, however, he needed to be completely honest. "Seoho hyung," he whispered, loosening his embrace. Seoho held Geonhak's arms around him, "No no no! Can't we stay like this? I probably look like a mess right now.” Geonhak chuckled a little but he continued. 

"I've been straight my whole life, at least that's what I thought," he paused to take a deep breath. "I just never entertained the thought that I could be romantically attracted to guys as well. That's probably why I fought with you a lot...because that way I could mask true feelings. But when you started ignoring me I didn't know what to do. Then suddenly you said you had feelings for me. It was a lot." Seoho turned around to face Geonhak. "I didn't mean to mess with you like that," Seoho pouted and looked down. 

"No. That's not that point. What I'm saying is, it's my first time to feel attracted to a guy like me," Geonhak rubbed the back of his head. He swore he needed to take a crash course for speech. He can't even confess to save his life. "I've always known you were beautiful–"

"Beautiful?" Seoho raised his eyebrows.

"Good looking."

"Go on."

"But I guess I never actually paid attention. Earlier today I couldn't stop looking. And it just didn't feel right to stare at you like _that_. I respect you a lot, hyung. So you see suddenly acting like this. Thinking like this. Feeling like this. It's all new to me and I just needed space to process myself."

"So you don't hate me?"

"Hate? No!” 

Seoho beamed at these words, flashing his toothy smile. But he thought he needed to make sure one last time so he asked, “Are you sure you’re not forcing yourself to like me? Because I confessed?” It was a stupid question but he thought it was valid. Geonhak’s face turned sour, showing he didn’t like it one bit. “Hyung are you hearing yourself? Do you really think it's possible to force yourself to like someone?” His heart softened at the thought that Seoho went through a lot alone for him to be this doubtful. But he deserved to be happy. And Geonhak would defy even the laws of physics to give him just that. 

"Um...will you be okay if we hide this for a while? Maybe once promotions are done we can officially announce?" Even until now, Seoho's still thinking about Oneus. It didn't offend the other guy, if anything it made him admire Seoho even more. "It's okay, we can things slowly," Geonhak assured. That night, they tried the gaming cafe that just opened nearby where they've been itching to go together for a long time. It was nothing special, they've gone to new places together a couple of times. But there's just something about enjoying each other's presence - it's gentle yet very delightful. Seoho couldn't have asked for a better way to spend their first date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took a long time, I actually rewrote this chapter a couple of times and even now I'm still not completely satisfied but askjdchsdc enjoy!!!


End file.
